And They Are Gone
by Rei Ant
Summary: A four part saga. Shinji Ikari thinks about how those closest to him have gone. Set after the death of Kaoru.
1. 1st Death

A.N: Lo! Me again! It's pretty deary outside, rain and gray clouds, kinda made me feel like making me a sad fic. So here we go!

Disclaimer: No, I don't own, Neon Genesis Evangelion. In fact the only thing I own in this fic is the fic it self…I didn't even take my friend Asuka's personality (not that it would have made a difference). So yeah.

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Shinji Ikari sat in Eva-01, teardrops falling into his lap.

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'How could this have happened?' He thought to himself, in a world of his own.

"…Asuka…"

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Outside the Goefront, The three Eva's, Eva-00, Eva-01, Eva02 and their respective pilots, Rei Ayanami, Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langly Soryu are in battle on a digital practice run:

"Move it, Ikari! Stop getting in my way! Do you always have to stand in front of me!?!" Asuka yelled at the giant purple Eva-01 in front of her. Shinji looked behind him and saw Asuka screaming at him from her predominately red Eva, Eva-02. He blushed and moved as she ran forward of him. Beside him he could see the white Eva-00, stabbing her progressive knife into a fake digital Angel.

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'Rei must be another of her quiet days…then again it's Rei…' Shinji thought as he was awakened from his thoughts by the voice of Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, coming through the loud speaker.

"Ikari! Are you in dreamworld today? You've already nearly been 'killed' by three angels, which Asuka has had to kill before they get to you! What if they had been real, Shinji? And to top it off you keep standing in front of Eva-02! STOP DREAMING AND START WORKING, IKARI!" Shinji blinked and nodded.

"Sorry"

"Sorry just isn't good enough, Shinji! If were going to win against the angels, we must be prepared! That means no dosing off! Please Shinji!" Major. Misato Katsuragi, his commanding officer and parent guardian said. 

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'Why won't they just get off my back? I know the fate of the world rests on me and the other Children as well…it's that enough of a burden?' *sigh, draw progressive knife and stabs an Angel, also releases his AT field*

"Finally he's doing something! It's a miracle!" Asuka said, sarcastically.

"Do not worry him, Soryu. He has much on his mind" Said the voice of Rei, the first child, her first voluntary word that day. 

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'How did she know?…Karou…' Shinji said, remembering the events surrounding the death of the fifth child. Shinji shivered.

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'It's not like I meant too…I had too…' Eva-01 clenched it's fists. 

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'It's not my fault…'

NERV central control:

Misato watched the scene fold out on the giant screen in front of the MAGI super computers.

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'He's obviously not having a good day' The woman thought as she ran a hand through her long, purple hair. She was tired and ached for a beer. Hell, at this rate, watching Shinji doing so badly, she'd settle for COFFEE. Misato shook her head. No, she didn't need THAT yet…yet.

"Why is he doing so bad, Ritsuko? Why does he keep standing there? He knows that's were Asuka's training…he's getting in her way! WHAT IS HE DOING?" Misato said, turning to her collage friend. Dr. Akagi responded without turning to Misato.

"He's just experiencing some kind of depression, probably due to the death of the last Angel. You would think he'd be over it wouldn't you?" Ritsuko didn't even take her eyes off the screen.

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'She can be so heartless…' Misato thought her attention focused on Ritsuko.

"But Ritsuko…Karou was his friend…and Shinji killed him. I'm sure you'd feel bad too" She said sympathetically. Ritsuko shook her head, her short blond hair moving with it and turned to the Major.

"I would have gotten over it. He was an Angel after all. Shinji made the right choice." *Misato sighs*

"Besides, I thought we had defeated all the Angels…Karou was the last one, no?" Ritsuko shook her head again and moved towards the Major, her white lab coat swishing as she moved.

"Unfortunately we were wrong. What we thought was the complete version of the Secret Dead Sea scrolls, with the known 18 Angels, there was missing a page, which of course SEELE has kept to themselves. Most probably in hope of destroying NERV. Somehow, apparently I was unauthorized to know (*Ritsuko has a sign of frustration and anger on her face*), we got hold of the last page. There are not 18 Angels, Major, but 21, including us, the Lillian" *Misato blinks*

"WHAT?! How come no one told ME?!" Misato cried, her eyes growing large. *Ritsuko sweatdrops*

"You never asked…"

"Dr. Akagi…Sorry, but I'm detecting inconstancies in the training program. What should I do?" Maya Ibuki said shyly, not wanting to interrupt Ritsuko. Ritsuko looked to Maya then back to Misato, panic in her eyes. The blonde closed her eyes and upon reopening them took control of the situation. Walking over to the Magi and checking their screens she called out orders.

"Is it an Angel?" Misato asked, getting up to look at the super computers herself. Ritsuko glanced again at the screens showing the symbols, ratio rates and wriggly lines and sighed.

"Turn off the program! Disable further use! Get the Evas out of there!" She yelled at the others working in the room.

"Ritsuko? Is it?" Misato said glancing at the back at the woman.

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'Please…oh, please…don't let it be…I don't think he can handle it! I don't think I can handle it' Misato thought to herself as she gazed hopefully into Ritsuko's eyes.

"I…I don't know Misato…" Ritsuko said.

"Docter…Something's penetrating through the protected area! Were currently trying to get the Evas out, but Unit 01 won't move!" Maya said, starting to panic.

"SHINJI!" Misato yelled through the microphone, trying to get through to Eva Unit 01.

Outside in the training field:

Shinji stood still as the program shut down, watching all the digital imputs fade away. He could hear someone calling him faraway, telling him to move out, but he couldn't move. In front of him stood Eva-02, trying to get past him. He could hear Asuka's annoyed voice as well. He knew he had trapped her but he couldn't get his Eva to move. He knew something was wrong. Oh, if only he could get the last Angel out of his mind!

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'Kaoru…'

Shinji glanced up as a black form, one he'd never seen before, raged through the protective fence in front of Eva-02.

"Shinji! Move!" He heard Misato call, but he couldn't. He watched as Asuka tried to get through him, as he was standing in front of the only way out. He watched as the new figure moved towards her.

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'A new a angel?…but Kaoru?…' Shinji gasped in surprise and cried out in pain as Eva-02 crashed right into him. The Angel moved, squishing Eva-02 like a sandwich between itself and Eva-01. He heard Asuka's scream of pain.

"Shinji! Move out of the way! That's an angel you're squishing Asuka against! Are you trying to kill the both of you!" Misato yelled at him through the loud speaker. Shinji blinked and tried to move but couldn't get his legs to work. His pain for Kaoru was still too fresh and this new Angel wasn't helping.

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'If I don't move now that Angel will kill both Asuka and me!…but I can't…Kaoru….' 

"Shinji stop day dreaming and MOVE!!!" Ritsuko screamed at him. Shinji screamed and released his A.T field, stumbling back. Eva-02 fell to the ground with a thump as he moved away. Eva-02 scrambled to her feet and released her A.T field as the black Angel tried to step on her. Shinji heard her mumble something in fast German, as she drew her progressive knife and tried to break through the Angel already released A.T field. The Angel promptly body slammed her against the ground. Shinji watched on in horror as the Angel tried to force Eva-02 armour open, to leave her exposed. 

"Shinji! Help her!" Misato screamed in his ear. But he once again couldn't get his legs to move. Or his arms. Or his conscious mind. His Eva moved slowly to the exit and as he went down he could see the Angel eating poor Eva-02's unprotected body and he could hear her scream. What Shinji didn't realize was that she wasn't the only one screaming.

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Woah. That crap beginning took nearly a week to write (Haha it's sunny again! ^.^). Well there's the beginning to this 3 or 4 part saga. R&R, please! And while you're off doing that I think I'm going to go cry…I can't believe I just killed off my friend! :'( lol 

R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…*~# Rei ~ Ant #~*…


	2. 2nd Death

A.N: Hi again, with another suckie chapter! *cheers* 

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Disclaimer: Sorry to say but I don't own Evangelion, otherwise Shinji would have died in the first ep and the show would be about everyone else!

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Shinji cried out in emotional pain, scrunching up his fists.

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'I could have saved her…yet…I just walked off…like there was nothing going on with her and that angel, walked off hearing her scream…walked off as she died. Ritsuko furious with me, for losing an EVA pilot…didn't she care about Asuka as a person? And Misato… I couldn't save you either…'

"…Misato…"

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Inside the secure NERV building, just outside the practice run area, in a room by herself, the Third child watches from the huge solid glass windows:

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'Ikari…why are you not doing anything?' the girl thought as she watched the angel attack EVA-02. She could see Asuka struggling against this force which seemed stronger than any before it. She could see the purple EVA-01 stand there, watching just like her.

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'He is not obeying orders' Rei thought, knowing what must be said to the EVA. She put a hand to the cold glass, watching as the red EVA started being ripped to pieces. She could see the pilot trying to resist, the pilot obviously did not want to die.

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'Sometimes death is the only true freedom' she thought, quoting the fifth child, the one with the likeness to her, the one who had escaped this world…

Shinji was starting to descend down the exit, leaving Asuka to be eaten by this Angel. She could hear her name being said in the overhead loudspeaker. 

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'The other two have failed, I am to pick up from there' Rei thought but did not move. Shinji would be in this room soon, after he had been unplugged and changed to his normal clothes, and she would have to start the familiar process again. She removed her hand from the glass and walked away. Still, even through the glass and walls were soundproof, she could hear the red EVA-02 pilots screams.

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Shinji lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Whilst he had the earplugs in, his walkman had lost all power hours ago, perhaps longer than that, days, maybe. He couldn't remember how long he'd been lying there, just that it seemed like forever.

*silence*

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'I didn't do anything…I walked away like the coward I was…I couldn't even go to her funeral…not like there would be anything there through…'

'I ran away again…left Ayanami to fix it. I could have saved her I know…but I'm…I'm…' Shinji thought liquid falling slowly from his eyes. He heard his bedroom door slide open, Misato and PenPen, the hot spring penguin pet she owned, in the small grasp light of the doorway. He didn't move.

"I cleared all of Asuka's things away…NERV is sending them back to her parents tomorrow morning" She said softly. Shinji averted his gaze back to the roof. He heard Misato come further into his room.

"Shinji…it's not really your fault. We shouldn't have put you back to training so soon after the fif-…accident" Shinji cast a long glare at her. Why was she lying to him? It was his fault for both occurrences. 

"I don't think we should put you back in the EVA until all this is behind us…I was thinking about maybe…asking the Third child to come live here with us…it's so empty without…Asuka. So she might be moving in" Misato continued. Shinji could feel the fury inside him.

"How insensitive can you be Misato?" He asked, hi voice matching hers. She looked at him and sighed.

"You mean asking Rei?" Shinji nodded.

"Asuka…wasn't a lamp you know. She can't be replaced Misato. Letting Ayanami move in would be a disgrace" Shinji said, his voice rising. Misato sat on his bed and reached out to him, only to have his hands slap her touch away. For a second she looked hurt.

" I just thought it would be a good idea…now it's just you, me and PenPen"

"Well it wasn't. Besides she wouldn't move anyway. She likes being alone. Just like me" 

"Shinji"

"Misato! Please just get out! Or move ME! I'm not an EVA pilot anymore! I can't do anything but let people die. I'm useless!" Shinji said, kicking Misato off his bed and burying his head in his pillow. Misato stood up and walked towards the door. When she got there she paused.

"She's gone Shinji. Think of what you have left" Shinji threw his pillow at her as she closed the door, PenPen following her.

"Asuka didn't consider her father her father and it's her stepmum!" He yelled through the door. He heard Misato sigh on the other side.

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Rei walked towards the block of the apartments that Shinji and Misato lived in after school finished. She had been instructed to drop work off to Ikari and talk to Major. Katsuragi. She walked uninflected of emotion and thought of nothing. She stopped at the door and for a moment was thoughtful.

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'Should I knock?…or just walk in? Ikari just walked in on me…'

She placed her hand on the door and jumped back as a shockwave past over the building, shaking it's foundations.

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'Earthquake?'

Rei moved again towards the door as Misato raced out.

"Rei! What are you doing here? Nevermind! Get back to headquarters, an Angel's been sighted!" Misato said, panting, a look of surprise on her face and a mobile phone in hand. *Rei blinks, another shockwave occurs*

"Oh!" Misato cried as she was pushed onto the railing.

"There's no time! Shinji!" Misato yelled as another earthquake passed over.

Shinji's room:

Shinji made no movement to get out. He could feel the shocks and knew he should, but his body felt numb.

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'Oh, well…I'll just die here. I'm useless anyway. Hopefully the ceiling will cave in' He could already see the cracks forming. His bedroom door fell off its hinges. He could hear Misato yelling his name from outside and PenPen's scared squawks. 

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'I should at least help PenPen outside' He thought, turning over. Misato called him again. Something about an Angel attack.

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'Is that supposed to make me feel better?' Shinji got up and walked to the doorway, his muscles aching from being unused for so long. He picked up PenPen and moved quickly through the apartment, now falling to pieces. He narrowly missed a piece of ceiling. As he reached the front door he could see Misato in tears and Rei, quiet and unmoved as ever in front of him. Misato grabbed PenPen and hugged him.

"Thank god, your both ok! It's an Angel! We can't get the EVA's!" Misato said quickly. Just beyond them Shinji could see another form, much like the last one, demolishing buildings. It was headed for them.

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'And so another has come…' Rei thought silently, looking at both Shinji and the approaching Angel. The three of them and PenPen stood watching the Angel heading closer, it's footsteps sending the movements in the earth.

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'Is this the end? How could NERV not want to send the EVA's here using the dummy plug system? Were going to lose Shinji and Rei!' Misato thought as the Angel appeared in front of them. She could hear her ringtone going off.

"Hello?"

"Major, we've sent the units 00 & 01 to the area. How is the going?"

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'Now they send the units?' Misato thought angrily and moved as part of the roof caved in around them.

"Not good. Unit 00 & Unit 01's pilot's are next to me. Should we execute emergency plan F?"

"Dr.Akagi agrees with the motions. Settings changing. Unit's arrive to destination in 10minuets" Misato gasped. The Angel stood right in front of their faces.

"If you both run now, you can still go down the steps and meet the EVA's before they get here. And you'll be safe." Misato said, dropping her phone and releasing PenPen who ran away to safety. The EVA pilots did not move.

"No" Shinji said softly. Misato's eyes widened and to their horror the Angel bent down and picked her off the ground, releasing it's A.T field.

"Rei! Shinji! Please!" Misato yelled as the Angel's grip tightened around her, squeezing the life from her. Rei turned and ran obediently away.

"Rei!" Shinji yelled as he watched her feet move away from his own. He looked up at Misato, struggling for her life, knowing it was not to be.

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'I'm going to die!' Misato thought, trying hard to breath. Shinji stood there. It was as if he could not move, as if he wanted to sink to the ground.

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'I have to get to the EVA to save Misato!…but I can't!' Shinji silently screamed to himself. Misato was now looking limp. It was now or never. 

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'…no…' His mind told him. He watched as Misato tried to scream, to breathe even, as the Angel squeezed her, plowed her hard into buildings. And then she did not struggle. Her body did not twist in pain as the Angel used her body as it's tool. Her eyes did not flutter, but closed for the last time.

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'I've done it again…I let Misato die…'

The Angel dropped her body, down to his feet. Lifeless. The Angel looked at him, motioning with it's eyes he was next. Shinji turned and ran down the collapsing steps. He could see EVA-01 waiting for him to jump in. The entry plug slide open and he jumped inside the safety of its metal shell, the area in around him filling with LCL. He could see the Third child in front of him now, heading for the Angel.

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'But what are we supposed to do? Misato always had the plans…' Shinji thought. Then he heard Ritsuko. She sounded slightly upset.

"Shinji? I want you to use the progressive knife on the Angel's arm. We've detected weaknesses there. EVA Unit-00 is going to use the positron rifle on the right arm, so stay away from there and get his left. Ok, proceed. Hopefully we can get through this quickly without anymore…casualties…" 

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'Casualties? Misato's dead!' Shinji thought as he ran up to the Angel, already being attacked by the white 00. They both had spread out their A.T fields. Shinji yelled and released his own. He praised apart the field and stuck his knife in the Angels arm, weakening it.

''I hate you!'' He yelled and struck again. For just a moment he swore he saw Misato, Asuka and Kawrou, standing on a collapsed building watching the scene. Then he blacked out.

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Haha. I found away to explain a really bad battle scene. Sorry, but even through I can watch them, I just can't write one. So there you go. Tell me what you think, k? R&R

…*~# Rei ~ Ant #~*…


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